Posts Tagged mst3k

August 24, 2006 – Swords, sandals, and suckitude

After a long day of teaching English, this evening’s activity was watching Mystery Science Theater 3000. I don’t think I need to mention that we also drank beer – it’s pretty much impossible (and not at all recommended) to watch MST3K without some kind of cushioning for your brain.

Tonight’s bad, bad movie was Hercules from 1958. It was a low budget Italian movie that somehow was popular enough at the time to start the “sword and sandal” genre. The movie industry must have been pretty awful in 1958 for this bomb to become popular. Even the MST3K crew couldn’t save this stinker.

Perhaps we needed more beer.

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July 23, 2006 – Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell

Teaching English overseas is a fun way to make some money and have some life experiences. Finding the right balance of experiences and saving money can be a challenge. When you are away in a fun, exciting, foreign country like Japan for a year or less, you want to get out and do everything that is available. It’s easy to end up spending as much or more than you earn.

The teachers who hang around longer than a year all find different ways to balance experience vs. savings. I have been doing my best to send some money home to pay off student loans while still getting out and experiencing the country occasionally. One of the best ways I have learned to save money is to find something fun to do at home instead of going out to the izakaya or karaoke for the 900th time.

Tonight, in the interest of being fiscally responsible, I invited some people over to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 presenting the classic film “Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell”. Please note: the term “classic” is not an indication of quality in this case.

DSatWfH is actually the third movie in the Deathstalker series. It’s the kind of movie you would get if a group of rich teenagers decided to act out their latest D&D session using only props and costumes they had around the house.

Although I did save money by staying in, I ended up spending more than expected on all of the beer I needed to survive this movie.

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June 17, 2006 – A ticket home

Today was the first day of my short paid holiday! I made good use of my time by spending most of the day with The Penpal.

During the day, we went to the nearby travel agent to inquire about a plane ticket back to Canada in November. I have pretty much decided that I’m going in November, although I haven’t given any notice yet. My thought was that plane tickets are usually cheaper in advance, but the travel agent said that they weren’t currently selling tickets six months into the future. I’ll try again in a few months.

After the travel agent we had lunch together and spent the afternoon playing Final Fantasy 3 (aka Final Fantasy 6) on my computer by using a SNES emulator. I’m happy that we can both enjoy hanging out and playing games together.

** As someone who currently lives with a retired game programmer who made his living from video games, I do appreciate the fact that software piracy is a bad thing for creators. However, since I actually own a physical copy of this game (it’s stuck in a box in Canada) I don’t have any moral issues about playing it on an emulator in Japan.

In the evening after The Penpal left, I watched yet another terrible MST3K movie with my roommates. Tonight’s debacle was The Master Ninja, an American TV show that was edited together into a movie. It goes to show that adding ninjas doesn’t automatically make something good. However, beer always helps.

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June 15, 2006 – Ethical dilemmas and Prince of Space

Today was pay day, the happiest day of the month! (Yes, we only get paid monthly)

In addition to my NOVA pay, I got a “bonus” in the form of free beer vouchers from one of the students. This student has been stuck in level for a while, and is trying hard to get promoted. The timing of his gift is not coincidental.

NOVA has a strict policy about teachers not accepting gifts from students. I tried to refuse in the classroom but he insisted on giving me the beer vouchers. After a brief ethical dilemma I decided to accept them because:

  1. He had given the same gift to a few other teachers that he liked
  2. I will share the beer with other teachers

I celebrated pay day and the soon to be shared gift by watching a terrible MST3K movie called “Prince of Space” with my roommates. The movie was a combination of two short Japanese movies from 1959 based on the TV show “Planet Prince”. For the American release, the two movies were edited together and dubbed into English by Italians. It’s not as bad as it sounds; it’s much worse. Check out a review on badmovies.org here!

Prince of Space!

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May 17, 2006 – Stadium Arcadium

stadium

It was another rainy day in Numazu today. I worked early shift and had plans to see The Penpal after work. Due to the rain we decided to hang out near Numazu station so she could take the train home after.

While waiting, I checked out the music store in Numazu station and was pleasantly surprised to find that there was a new Red Hot Chili Peppers album; Stadium Arcadium. There are a few bands where I will buy new albums without hearing anything first – RHCP is on that list. The cool thing about buying CDs in Japan is that they usually come with extra songs or Japanese translations of the lyrics. The last Weezer CD I bought had both, but Stadium Arcadium only came with translated lyrics.

The Penpal and I hung out in the station area for a while before I walked home in the rain. Later when my roommates returned home we all watched Mystery Science Theater 3000. This is something that always seems like a good idea, but has probably contributed to as much brain damage as the beer I have been drinking. Seriously, those movies are BAD.

(Author’s note) I don’t remember which MST3K movie we watched, but I have a suspicion that it was Fire Maidens of Outer Space. I must have repressed that memory.

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December 16, 2005 – Manos: The Hands of Fate

manos

Recently I have been watching a lot of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. For those unaware, it was a show where evil scientists have sent a janitor into space and force him to watch terrible movies. The janitor has created robots to watch the movie with and they make funny comments throughout.

Tonight I watched one of the absolute worst crap fest movies that has ever been featured on MST3K – Manos: The Hands of Fate. Manos is typically near the top of any “worst movies of all time list”. It was filmed on a hand wound 16mm camera that could only record 32 seconds at a time with no sound. Three actors later “performed” all of the voice acting for every character.

In addition to the complete lack of production values, the movie features an undecipherable plot featuring a lost family, a cult, and a guy with a terrible cape.

manos2

I have watched a lot of terrible movies on MST3K, but this was by far one of the worst things I have ever seen. It was so bad that the mad scientists actually apologized half way through. There was literally not enough booze available to make this movie good.

It was so bad, it almost made Catwoman seem like a good movie.

Almost.

If you ever feel like punishing yourself, get a few bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage, a few friends (who likely won’t talk to you after), and track down the MST3K version of Manos. But remember – I warned you.

(2015 Update) Oh no! It’s available for free viewing on the official MST3K channel on Youtube here! I’m so sorry.

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October 23, 2005 – Geek day

mst3kcrawlingeye

Today was a total geek day. There was yet another teacher party in the evening, but I declined and decided to spend the evening in. Super Dave came over after finishing work and brought his portable hard drive. We traded some movies and TV shows while watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 presenting “The Crawling Eye”. Hanging out and watching robots make fun of terrible sci-fi was a lot of fun and a nice break from another night out at the izakaya.

 

Warning: Do not attempt to watch The Crawling Eye (or any other MST3K) without ample beer on hand. It will break your brain.

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