Posts Tagged bad movies
August 24, 2006 – Swords, sandals, and suckitude
Posted by Barniferous in Movies on November 20, 2017
After a long day of teaching English, this evening’s activity was watching Mystery Science Theater 3000. I don’t think I need to mention that we also drank beer – it’s pretty much impossible (and not at all recommended) to watch MST3K without some kind of cushioning for your brain.
Tonight’s bad, bad movie was Hercules from 1958. It was a low budget Italian movie that somehow was popular enough at the time to start the “sword and sandal” genre. The movie industry must have been pretty awful in 1958 for this bomb to become popular. Even the MST3K crew couldn’t save this stinker.
Perhaps we needed more beer.
December 16, 2005 – Manos: The Hands of Fate
Posted by Barniferous in Movies, Uncategorized on December 16, 2015
Recently I have been watching a lot of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. For those unaware, it was a show where evil scientists have sent a janitor into space and force him to watch terrible movies. The janitor has created robots to watch the movie with and they make funny comments throughout.
Tonight I watched one of the absolute worst crap fest movies that has ever been featured on MST3K – Manos: The Hands of Fate. Manos is typically near the top of any “worst movies of all time list”. It was filmed on a hand wound 16mm camera that could only record 32 seconds at a time with no sound. Three actors later “performed” all of the voice acting for every character.
In addition to the complete lack of production values, the movie features an undecipherable plot featuring a lost family, a cult, and a guy with a terrible cape.
I have watched a lot of terrible movies on MST3K, but this was by far one of the worst things I have ever seen. It was so bad that the mad scientists actually apologized half way through. There was literally not enough booze available to make this movie good.
It was so bad, it almost made Catwoman seem like a good movie.
If you ever feel like punishing yourself, get a few bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage, a few friends (who likely won’t talk to you after), and track down the MST3K version of Manos. But remember – I warned you.
(2015 Update) Oh no! It’s available for free viewing on the official MST3K channel on Youtube here! I’m so sorry.
December 18, 2003 – Robocop 3 is terrible
Posted by Barniferous in Life in Japan, Movies on December 18, 2013
In order to fight off my cold, I cancelled language practice and a post work trip to Roppongi. In the evening I decided to drink some cold green tea, because generally makes you feel better when you have a cold. I now know that some kinds of green tea have as much or more caffiene than coffee does. Needless to say I ended up watching late night TV by myself.
For the record, Robocop 3 sucks. I am not talking “is just bad”, it really, really sucks. They took out a lot of the violence and dark sense of humour, then added a robot ninja and Robocop with a jetpack. Seriously. Bad.