Archive for category Drinking

May 30, 2004 – I just told her it was small, didn’t I?

Yet more karaoke

Where’s my microphone??

An uneventful day relaxing at Hello House was followed up with an eventful evening out in Kawasaki.

Code Red, Green, Flounder, Hippie got on Nanbu line headed towards Kawasaki, where we would meet up with some of my coworkers and friends. On the train, Green asked me how to say “you are beautiful” in Japanese so he could talk to some ladies. I got an evil idea, and then spent the rest of the train ride practicing Green’s new Japanese phrase, which was absolutely not “you are beautiful”.

We met with Jem and Rivers and went to a nearby izakaya for some food and drinks. By this point I had informed everyone except Green the meaning of the words that I had been teaching to Green. We were all having trouble containing our excitement. Green practiced a few more times to try to get the pronunciation correct, and then waited for his opportunity.

We pressed the order button in the izakaya – a wonderful invention that summons your waiter or waitress to your table. An attractive female waitress arrived and took the order for our group. At this point Green spoke up with the phrase he had been rehearsing for the past 30 minutes.

“Excuse me” he said in Japanese. The waitress turned and looked at Green. You could cut the anticipation in our group with a knife.

“I have a small penis” said Green proudly in Japanese. The waitress looked confused. Green, assuming his pronunciation was bad decided to repeat the phrase slower and more clearly.

“I  – have – a – small – penis!” he repeated, again with a smile on his face. At this point the waitress started laughing and walked away, which caused our entire group to crack up laughing hysterically. Green realized what happened “I just told her it was small, didn’t I?” he cleverly guessed.

Green asked me how to explain to the waitress that it wasn’t small, but actually very large. I taught him how to say “very small” instead. His BS detector went off and he decided to give up on the whole idea.

After the izakaya, we went out to karaoke again. Karaoke quickly became the fun activity of choice for our group, mainly due to the incredibly cheap drinks. We spent a few hours rocking out and making liberal use of the all you can drink policy before heading back to Hello House on Nanbu line. The trip home was not boring – one very drunk member of our group started walking up and down the train cars with a condom in his hand. This presented the other passengers with an excellent opportunity to pretend that he didn’t exist, which they did very well. Never a dull moment!

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May 29, 2004 – A night out in Roppongi

Once again we started our day off by sleeping and and playing video games. In the evening we went out to Roppongi to get a sample of Tokyo nightlife.

Our first stop was a really cool place off the main streets that served over 200 different types of beer from around the world. Thanks to my experience at the Maple Leaf Bar on the previous day, I had a taste for Moosehead. The bar had it, but it cost me 900 yen. Due to the prices, we only had a few drinks before moving on to our next destination.

There are almost too many options for places to spend your money on alcohol in Roppongi. Since we were on a budget, we decided to go to GasPanic. As we were walking down the street, we were approached by one of the many, many touts working the area. He started off by offering us 3000 yen all you can drink in his bar. We told him no thanks, we were going to GasPanic. The price quickly dropped to 2500 yen with assurances that his bar was far superior to GasPanic. We again declined. At this point he turned to small talk – asking where we were from. We told him Canada. Unsurprisingly, the tout had a cousin who lived in Canada and loved Canadians. Again the price came down. We told him that we would check out his bar on the way back to the station. He told us that we wouldn’t be back, and that we should go to his bar now.

At this point we decided to say no again and just keep walking as we now had a walk light to cross the street. The tout jumped in front of Flounder and grabbed him playfully to keep him from walking away. Flounder, confused, reached down and gave the tout a hug before we walked away. I congratulated the tout on his exceptional effort.

Due to the constant bombardment of touts and my unfamiliarity with the area, we ended up going into GasPanic Club instead of regular GasPanic. Despite being a Saturday night, the place was not very busy at all. The staff assured us it would get much busier later, but we wanted to catch our last train.

I convinced Code Red and Green to talk to two attractive Japanese females that were sitting nearby. I assured them that they could just speak English, because most Japanese females go to GasPanic to meet foreigners. Code Red was getting along fine, but Green called me over to translate after a few minutes.

I walked over and introduced myself to the nice young lady, who I will refer to as Maki. I explained that Green was visiting from Canada and I would try my best to translate for him despite my beginner Japanese. I manged to keep a bit of a conversation going for a few minutes. Maki wanted to know how old Green was, I asked Green how old he wanted to be. We settled on 25. Green asked me to explain to Maki that he was a famous soccer goalkeeper in Canada. I have never known Green to play soccer at all, but did my best to translate. After a few minutes, Maki stopped asking about Green and just started talking to me directly. Code Red gave up talking to his new Japanese friend, leaving me to talk to Maki while the guys drank beer in the mostly empty bar. Needless to say, we didn’t stay very long.

Our night out in Roppongi was mostly a bust, but we did have some delicious donairs on the way home and continued to laugh about Flounder hugging the tout. Also, I am way more successful talking to women in Japan, which does me no favours since I am not single.

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May 27, 2004 pt2 – Karaoke Adventure

Intense Karaoke

We met up with Rivers and Jem at Yokohama station. They were fresh out of NOVA kids training and looking for some beer. After some phone calls and texting we were able to meet up with the rest of the usual Thursday night karaoke group. All together we took a group of 15 thirsty people into Big Echo for some all you can drink karaoke.

The pitchers started flowing fast and furiously, as everyone filled the karaoke queue with an eclectic range of songs ranging from Ring of Fire to Anarchy in the UK. Code Red had his video camera out and decided to start filming our experience. After a while, Code Red took a page out of my book and started visiting other karaoke rooms. He would open the door and tell the surprised people inside “smile for American TV!”. This got a lot of smiles and cheers.

Code Red and the video camera that got us in trouble

Code Red and the video camera that got us in trouble

We had a busy, beer soaked two hours of karaoke. Since it took so long to get our group together, we had only 10 minutes to catch the last train after we paid. Half way back to Yokohama station, Code Red suddenly announced that he didn’t have his video camera and then ran back to Big Echo. I quickly gave Jem some (incorrect) instructions to get Flounder, Hippie and Green on the last train and then I took off after Code Red. In the worst case I assumed that Flounder, Hippie and Green could find their way back to Hello House, and Code Red and I would find alternate transportation or a place to crash.

I waited outside Big Echo for a few minutes, and then decided to go into the building to look for Code Red. I took the only elevator up to the floor where our room was, just as Code Red was coming down the stairs. He got outside and saw that all of his friends were gone. He was on his own, drunk, in a city far from home. After a brief moment of panic, he cleverly walked up to the first gaijins he saw and asked where the station was, explaining that he needed to get to Noborito. The two Australians looked at their watch and told him, probably in an awesome Aussie accent, that he was f**ked.

After looking around for Code Red in Big Echo, I went outside to see nobody that I recognized. Just then my phone started ringing – it was Jem and she couldn’t remember which train to put the other guys on. By this point the last train back to Kawasaki had already left. On the way to the platform I received another call that Code Red had just showed up on the platform. I met up with the group and we found out that the video camera wasn’t actually missing, it was in his backpack the entire time. As a group we voted that Code Red was not allowed to talk for the next 30 minutes.

Jem and her roommates came to our rescue, offering to put us up at their NOVA apartments. We took a quick train ride to Hodogaya station and started walking. And then we walked more. And then we kept walking.

I like to complain about Hello House at times, but it is only a five minute walk from the station. Jem’s apartment was a full 15 minute walk, mostly uphill. The apartment building itself was literally built on the side of a hill with a steep 50 degree staircase. Flounder, Green and Code Red slept at Jem’s place, while Hippie and I got a spare room at the other NOVA apartment that was about half way down the steep hill.

Travel lesson for the day: before you sprint off on your own in a strange country, check your freaking backpack for your lost item. It will save some excitement.

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May 25, 2004 – Bad ideas at family restaurants

Flounder, Green, Lux, Me, Zoe, and Code Red after too much booze at Machida station

Flounder, Green, Lux, Me, Zoe, and Code Red after too much booze at Machida station

During the day we hung out in my room playing Playstation games and generally recovering from our adventures so far. In the evening we had plans to go to a family restaurant in Machida. Most family restaurants in Japan feature a “drink bar” for about 200 yen. A drink bar is a self serve soft drink area where you can enjoy free refills of coffee, tea, sodas and water. This particular restaurant also featured a 600 yen drink bar with alcohol. You read that correctly: for the low price of 600 yen a customer can mix their own cocktails. I think the intent is for customers to have one or two drinks with dinner, but there is technically no limit.

Yes, this does sound like a terrible idea in the making.

Lux and Zoe were going to accompany us to the restaurant. Before we left they took me aside and expressed concern that my friends would be in the restaurant all night taking advantage of the unlimited alcohol. They suggested telling the guys that there was a one hour time limit on the drink bar. I disagreed and tried to explain that the idea of a time limit would only lead to problems. I explained that I knew these guys, and a time limit would be a challenge to them. Lux and Zoe continued to disagree with me, so eventually I told them I would play along, but I assumed no responsibility for the outcome.

We all boarded the Odakyu line for Machida, and explained the “rules” of the drink bar. The guys were all very excited and started asking questions about when the one hour time limit started – from the time we sat down? from the time we order? I told them I would get the details at the restaurant.

We got a table for 7 and placed our orders. As soon as the orders were taken, everyone rushed the drink bar and started mixing drinks. We started slowly, with everyone checking their watches. By about the 30 minute mark there was always at least one of us refilling their drink at any time. For the last 10 minutes I am pretty sure that Green did not return to his seat at all. We all left full of delicious food and booze for under 2000 yen per person.

When you drink a large amount of alcohol in a short time, you can go from feeling completely sober to drunk in a matter of minutes. This happened for most of us on the walk from the restaurant to the station. We passed two large gaijins walking in the other direction. Code Red asked if they were Canadian like us, and the said that no, they were American Marines. Code Red responded “Go Yankee Go!”, to which Flounder added “home”. Our military friends did not take kindly to this, and suggested they would meet us later. Code Red, missing the implicit threat in the comment, answered “awesome! We will see you guys later!”. The marines clarified that it would not be a pleasant meeting. I believe Hippie and Code Red tried to apologize as we continued walking away.

By the time we arrived at the station, we were drunk and belligerent. While we waited on the platform, I noticed that a few train security officers watched our group from a distance. They seemed relieved as we boarded the train and ceased to be their problem.

When we returned to Hello House, Green removed his shirt and started walking around the house. Lux and I hung out on the stoop reflecting on the amount of alcohol that we all drank for 600 yen each. Eventually one of the other Hello House residents, a gay British male, came to the stoop to complain about Green walking around shirtless. His comment was “nobody wants to see that”.

Video games, cheap alcohol, pissing off Marines, train security, and unwanted shirtlessness. All in a days work.

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May 23, 2004 pt3 – Everything is jumbo in Canada

Green meets Shibuya girls

Green meets Shibuya girls

After getting a taste of beer at Shakey’s Pizza, we decided that we would really enjoy some more beer. We boarded the Yamanote line and headed for Shibuya. The area around Shibuya station is always entertaining for visitors. Between the massive crowds of people, the tall buildings, the giant video screens, the lights, and the noise it is a great way to get overstimulated. After wandering around for a while we headed to GasPanic for cheap beer.

As much as some people talk badly about GasPanic (with good reason), it is easy to find, has cheap drinks, and has no problems with five casually dressed, thirsty foreigners. We managed to find a table and ordered two pitchers. Green used one of the pitchers as his own personal drink, while the rest of us filled our glasses from the other pitcher.

We hung out at GasPanic for a some time getting more than a little drunk. It was a Sunday night, so GasPanic was not exactly lively. I convinced the group that while we were in Shibuya, we could be having more fun at Don Quijote. The problem was that I was full of beer and don’t know Shibuya well. It took several wrong turns, but we finally found the giant smiling penguin and proceeded to enter the most fun store in the country.

It is not terribly surprising that 5 drunk 20 something males will eventually end up in the adult toy section. The guys marveled at the wide variety of products available. They were particularly interested in the disposable sex cans for men. At this point I decided this would make the best souvenir ever and generously offered to buy some for them to take home. While Code Red, Flounder and Hippie went to other parts of the store, I got Green to hold out his arms and proceeded to stack up 8 sex cans. Since we didn’t want to keep walking around the store while carrying the sex cans, Green and I started to make our way towards the cash register. Finding the way out of DonKi is difficult at the best of times. Finding the way out of DonKi after several beers is even more challenging. On one of our many wrong turns Green dropped the entire stack of sex cans all over the floor. The other shoppers looked on in amused horror as he tried to gather them all up again while I stood by and laughed.

I paid for the sex cans, then Green and I met the others outside.  We were getting pretty close to the last train, so we decided to call it a night and returned to Shibuya Station. From Shibuya we took Yamanote line to Shinjuku, then boarded Odakyu line towards Noborito. On the Odakyu train, Flounder was standing and holding onto the train grip. Two Shibuya girls were standing next to him. For those who don’t know, Shibuya girls are fashionable looking young females with fake tans, coloured hair, and lots of accessories on their phones. Without any warning, one of them reached over and started stroking Flounder’s arm hair. He looked down and said hi. She looked up at him and said “You are jumbo”. Flounder calmly replied “I’m from Canada. Everything is jumbo in Canada”.

Not wanting to be left out, Green reached into his backpack, past the 8 sex cans, to find my copy of “Making Out in Japanese“, a hilarious phrasebook for casual Japanese in different situations. He tried out a few lines, but his pronunciation was so terrible that the Shibuya girls couldn’t understand what he was talking about. Most notably, he attempted several times to say “kiss me” which is pronounced “key-soo she-tay”. Green kept reading the romaji as “kiss-oo shitty”. Green finally got fed up and just pointed at the line in the book. The girls thought this was hilarious and then sat down and started reading the book while laughing at the most ridiculous phrases.

Nobody ended up getting any kisses, but we got several pictures with the Shibuya girls while they were laughing at Making Out in Japanese. We got back to Hello House and hung out with Lux explaining our awesome day in Tokyo.

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May 23, 2004 pt2 – Shakey’s Pizza

The Tower of Beer at Shakey's Pizza in Harajuku

The Tower of Beer at Shakey’s Pizza in Harajuku

After an eventful afternoon at Meiji Shrine and Yoyogi park we were looking for some food. Not knowing what our options were, we decided to wander around Harajuku looking for food that would make everyone happy. I am good with almost anything, but two members of our group didn’t like fish. There were nearly unlimited options, but as soon as we saw a sign for Shakey’s Pizza our minds were made up. Mmmmm pizza!

Harajuku is home to one of the few Shakey’s Pizza restaurants in the country. In addition to some familiar pizzas that we could find at home, they also offered Japanese style pizza covered with corn and seafood. We paid good money for some small but delicious pizzas.

When considering our drink options we found a menu item called “Tower of Beer”. Naturally we had no choice but to order it. The Tower of Beer is tall glass cylinder on a base with a spout. It holds an impressive 4 litres of beer. When divided 5 ways it is not a lot of beer for each person, but the experience of the Tower of Beer is totally worth it. All of the other beer drinkers in the restaurant were drinking out of boring regular glasses. Our beer was in a TOWER.

At some point Hippie went off to find the washroom. He came back extremely excited, and informed us that the bathroom had one of Japan’s famous high tech toilets. A Japanese high tech toilet is a toilet with a control panel that operates various features such as adjustable strength water jets, air fresheners, heated seats, and sound effects to cover up any bathroom noises you are making. After Hippie’s announcement, everyone in our group took turns trying out the high tech toilet. We ended up monopolizing the men’s washroom for the next 15 minutes.

High Tech Toilet

One of the best things about being in a foreign country is that almost everything is a bit different, so even mundane things like ordering beer or using the toilet can be a fun adventure. Just remember to stop the bum spray before you stand up – trust me.

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May 21, 2004 pt2 – My friend is Canada

Me and Code Red in Shinjuku on the way back from the airport

Me and Code Red in Shinjuku on the way back from the airport

When the guys got back to Hello House, we organized the sleeping arrangements. Hippie would be staying on the foldy floor couch in my room, while Flounder, Code Red and Green would be sharing the extra room that I rented for their stay. Fortunately for them, the extra room had a bed. Flounder and Green agreed to alternate nights in the bed and on the floor, while Code Red set up a futon in the closet.

After unpacking, the travelers got their first experience with Hello House’s coin operated showers. After showers and a quick tour of Hello House, we set out in search of beer.

Since it was Friday night, all of the izakayas in the area were very busy. In my first three choices I was told that there would be a two hour wait, which didn’t work for us. As we walked from place to place looking for a beer, we attracted a lot of attention from the locals. It wasn’t often that they saw five enthusiastic gaijins walking around the Noborito area. One of the highlights came when I was not paying attention to where I was walking and managed to walk directly into a pole designed to separate the street from the sidewalk. The pole was just at the right height to hit me in my lower nether regions as I passed over it. The other highlight was a very drunk girl who started talking to us in English while her boyfriend held her up. When we told her we were Canadian she proudly replied “My friend is Canada!”.

We eventually ended up at an izakaya on the other side of Mukogaokayuen station that was full of hard drinking Japanese people. When I say hard drinking, I mean stumbling to the bathroom, puking, then coming back to finish their beer drinking. The frat guys approved. We ordered beer and izakaya food. Flounder and Green tried sashimi for the first (and probably last) time. After the bar we returned to Hello House to watch a bootleg copy of Wrestlemania while drinking some of the ample supplies of alcohol that the guys brought from Canada. It was a great first night!

(2014 update) It turns out that the izakaya staff were trying to tell me that there would be a 2 hour limit on our table, not a 2 hour wait. My Japanese was still pretty bad at the time.

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May 14, 2004 – The worst word I know

Tonight I went to Hobgoblin pub in Shibuya. It is a pretty cool pub with a wide selection of food and drink. Everything is bilingual so it is popular among foreigners.

During the evening I was talking to different people in the crowd. An attractive young Japanese woman started talking to me in English. Let’s call her Keiko for the sake of the story. Keiko and I were discussing studying languages and noticed that usually the first words people want to learn in a new language are the “bad” words. She had an impressive knowledge of English curse words. I told her that I knew a few good ones in Japanese as well. She asked me to tell her the worst word I knew in Japanese.

Some time prior to this, The Penpal and I had the “what are the bad words in your language” conversation. We went through the usual ones, and then she taught me an absolute shocker. This particular word is not commonly heard anywhere, and is extremely rude.

I told Keiko that I knew a really, really bad word, but didn’t want to tell her what it was. This made her more curious. I tried to back out and tell her that she would likely be offended by the word. Keiko assured me that she wouldn’t be offended. I tried to change the subject. This make Keiko even more determined, and insisted that I tell her the word.

At this point I thought “why not”, leaned in and said the word into her ear. She instantly looked shocked, not just regular shocked, but shocked like someone had just slapped her grandmother.

“WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT WORD!?” she asked incredulously. I told her that a Japanese friend had taught me the word. She still couldn’t believe that I had the nerve to say the word, and found the next excuse to leave the conversation.

To all of the travelers and language exchangers out there: when someone asks you to say the worst word you know in their language, don’t. Also, if you insist that someone tell you the worst word they know, don’t be shocked when it is worse than you expected.

No, I will not tell you what word it was. I learned my lesson already!

(almost complete rewrite of original post to add more detail)

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April 15, 2004 – Karaoke U-Drunk

Karaoke U-Bou, better known as Karaoke U-Drunk

Karaoke U-Bou, better known as Karaoke U-Drunk

Tonight I went out to the Thursday version of a going away party for a long time Hello House resident, let’s call him Sean. Since conversational English teachers have different days off, the going away party was offered on both Thursday and Friday to allow more people to celebrate Sean returning to Ireland.

Like most going away parties, we started off at a nearby izakaya. One of Sean’s Japanese friends, Rex (likely not his real name) was pouring drinks Japanese style. This meant that everyone had small glasses and Rex was filling them with beer from 1 litre bottles. As soon as there was any space in a glass, Rex dutifully topped it up. This is a great way to get hammered because you have absolutely no way to know how much beer you are drinking. I realized pretty quickly that if I wanted to survive the night that I would have to take over as the official beer dispenser.

In addition to going through 1 litre bottles of beer at an alarming rate, we also ate some great Japanese bar food including deep fried cheesy rice balls and deep fried pregnant sardines. Yes, every single sardine in the order was full of eggs. The beer helped us all get more comfortable with this concept.

After the izakaya, the party moved on to nearby Karaoke U-Bou, which was affectionately known as “Karaoke U-Drunk”. For those who don’t know, karaoke rooms in Japan have a magical phone on the wall that allow you to order drinks. Most karaoke places offer an all you can drink option, and Karaoke U-Drunk was no exception. The plan was to stay for an hour, but we ended up leaving after 3. The highlight of the night was Rex singing Earth, Wind and Fire.

Leaving parties are awesome!

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April 12, 2004 – Drinking in Japan

Yes, yes I do

Yes, yes I do

Today’s long delayed topic is drinking. I wanted to write about this earlier, but found that I needed to do some important field research first. Drinking is a popular leisure activity in Japan, and one that people are fairly open and excited about. The attitudes are completely different from western countries in some ways.

Work is very busy in Japan. Salarymen, as they are known, are regularly expected to work beyond the standard 8 hour day. Some Japanese take a samurai like pride in the fact that they work 12 or 14 hours a day. Leaving the office after 8 hours is simply not the Japanese way. Working insane hours is naturally stressful, and the preferred stress relief is usually heading out for a few drinks.

Where to get your drink on
In Canada you can only buy alcohol in liquor stores, bars, beer vendors or restaurants, but you can’t drink in public. In Japan you can buy and drink alcohol almost everywhere. Alcohol can be purchased at convenience stores, supermarkets, and my personal favourite – from alcohol vending machines. Japan has a huge selection of drinking establishments to suit every taste. The best option for visitors is the izakaya, which is a Japanese style pub. Izakayas serve a variety of different drinks and have a good selection of small orders of pub food. You really haven’t truly experienced a trip to Japan without a visit to an izakaya. Big chains like Wara Wara and Watami are pretty foreigner friendly with bilingual menus and pictures of all the food.

Drinking etiquette
In my limited time in Japan, I have learned the following about drinking etiquette. First, you should never fill your own glass, and you should never let your drinking companion’s glass sit empty if there is something that can be poured into it. Cheers is “kanpai” which means “empty glass”. Telling someone to chug their drink is “ikki ikki”, which should not be confused under any circumstances with “iku iku”.

Being drunk
One of the main differences I have observed with drinking in Japan is the frequency and vigor that it is done. It is not uncommon at all to see drunk businessmen, arms linked, stumbling to the train in the evening. Every evening. In every train station. When it is time for drinking, one or two just aren’t enough. You have to approach it with the same enthusiasm that you take to your 14 hour work day. Over serving and over consumption are concepts that don’t exist. Heading to work with a hangover is common for many people. Missing the last train because of drinking is a rite of passage for new English teachers. Even the karaoke room that you will inevitably end up in after the bar serves drinks. Students frequently boast about how much they love to drink, and how much they drank the night before. It is a badge of honour with almost no shame attached. Beware – outdrinking a foreigner is a point of pride.

The Benefits
Some readers may be thinking that the description above sounds a bit excessive. However, in addition to being fun, drinking serves two very important purposes. The first is stress relief after too much work. Working insane hours without an outlet is a recipe for karoshi (death from overwork). The second is “nominication”, a word formed from “nomi”, the Japanese verb to drink, and “nication” from communication. Strict standards of etiquette prevent employees from speaking their mind to their superiors. Harmony must be maintained at all costs. If you have a great idea that could save the company, you need to bring it through the proper channels and get consensus at all stages. The only place you can truly and openly speak your mind to superiors is while you are drinking. Some of the most important business conversations in the country happen over drinks at the izakaya.

Drunk Driving
Despite the liberal attitudes towards drinking in Japan, drinking and driving is taken very seriously. I thought that Canada’s drunk driving laws were strict. In most places, a blood alcohol level above .05 will get your car impounded, and over .08 will cause you to lose your license for a period of time. In Japan, the penalties start when your blood alcohol level is above zero. That’s right, ANY alcohol in your blood means losing your license for a nice long time. It may make the trains a little unpleasant at times, but keeps the roads safe. (Well, as safe as Japanese roads get…)

Peer review
The information above is based entirely on my personal experience and conversations with students and teachers. I strongly suggest doing your own personal research. If seeing is believing, seeing double must be believing twice as hard, right?

Kanpai!

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