March 18, 2006 – The wrath of St. Patrick
Posted by Barniferous in Azeroth, Friends and coworkers, Teaching English on July 17, 2016
There were a bunch of sore, tired teachers at work today thanks to St. Patrick’s Day. Since it was Saturday, most of the teachers had to start at 10:00am. I started at 1:00pm and still felt rotten. I’m actually surprised that we didn’t get more complaints from students about pale, nauseous looking teachers on weekends.
During the day I found out that Azeroth and I were getting a new roommate at the end of the month. Since Palmer had moved to Hokkaido, we had been enjoying our 3 bedroom apartment between the two of us. Before anyone moves in to a new apartment NOVA sends out an inspector to make sure things are in order. My parents are coming to visit on March 25, which only gives us about a week to get things inspection ready. Azeroth and I are not the best housekeepers*, so we have a lot work to do in a week!
* When I say not the best housekeepers, I mean that we generally never clean anything.
March 17, 2006 – Green Beer
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Friends and coworkers on July 16, 2016
Today was St. Patrick’s Day, a cultural celebration of someone that I assume was named Patrick. Like many Canadians, I don’t know the reason for the celebration, but I do know that it’s a great excuse to wear green and drink.
It’s not easy to find a St. Patrick’s Day celebration in Japan, but my coworkers managed to do just that. They learned that Speak E-Z, billed as an English school and bar, was hosting a St. Patrick’s day event.
There is nothing particularly wrong with Speak E-Z, but among NOVA teachers it had gained a reputation similar to the way that people react to GasPanic; meat factory for foreign guys to meet Japanese women. Speak E-Z was far less sketchy than GasPanic, and didn’t have any indication that you needed to have drink in your hand at all times to remain inside (author’s note – don’t take that sign literally!)
After work the other teachers and I headed straight to the bar, which was already unusually busy. I would guess that Speak E-Z should comfortably hold about 50 people. There was a band set up in the corner taking up space, and by the end of the night there must have been over 100 people jammed into the remaining space. I didn’t care because they had 300 yen green beer.
My memories of the evening are fuzzy. I remember running into Palmer’s ex-girlfriend and talking to her for a while. When she and Palmer were together, she was ALWAYS at our apartment, even when he wasn’t. This kept Azeroth and I from getting along with her, so it was good to get a chance to talk to her afterwards. She is a pretty cool person overall.
I also remember drinking more than enough green beer, and then later finding out that the mugs had left green rings around my mouth. This led to another vague memory of deciding that I was done with green rings around my mouth and that I should switch to tequila shots.
Drinking pro-tip: if you are half way through an evening out and suddenly think that tequila shots are a good idea, go home. You’re judgement is impaired and you will only make bad decisions from this point forward.
We left at closing, covered in green spills, smelling like cigarette smoke (yes, you can smoke inside in Japan), and still tasting tequila. Someone decided that they would offer Vivian a ride home in their bicycle basket. Vivian is a tall, full figured British woman who has trouble buying women’s clothes off the rack in Japan. She was not designed to fit in a bicycle basket. They surprisingly lasted about one city block before the bicycle fell over, spilling both driver and passenger. I ran to assist and managed to twist my knee YET AGAIN. Despite the anesthetic effects of the alcohol I had consumed, I had a miserable walk home and an unpleasant sleep.
At least I didn’t have to work early shift like the other teachers!
Late Saturday shift at the Eikaiwa
Posted by Barniferous in Friends and coworkers, Teaching English on July 16, 2016
This is a post that existed in an idea in my head, but never made it to my blog 10 years ago.
In my 3 years in Japan, I have had a few different work schedules. The one constant in that whole time was the late Saturday shift.
Like most service businesses, conversational English schools in Japan adjust their teacher schedules to meet student demands. This means that evening shifts are more common on weekdays, and morning / afternoon shifts are much more common on weekends. As an example, Kawasaki NOVA could have 12-15 teachers on during a Saturday morning shift (10:00am – 5:40pm), but only 4-5 for the evening shift (1:00pm to 9:00pm). Smaller schools like Numazu and Mishima would usually have 1 or 2 teachers on the Saturday late shift.
I spent my entire time in Japan on the Saturday late shift. This has allowed me to work with a variety of different people who also had the misfortune to be stuck at work when all of the other teachers were out having fun.
In Kawasaki I worked late Saturday shifts with a group of people including Anzac, who was always good for some teaching advice and beer after work. At Mishima I worked with Veronica, who was about 20-30 years older than the other teachers and had absolute control over any NOVA kids class.
After Veronica, I worked with the asshole who quit by fax. Even though he was an asshole, he was at least occasionally interesting. He was a speed chess master who coded instant messaging apps in his free time.
For a short time I spent Saturday evenings with Charlie, who didn’t last very long in Japan. I think she had a crush on me most of the time, and kept giving me hypothetical situations about wanting to kiss a guy who didn’t know she liked him. I did my best to mention my girlfriend regularly, but she never really got the hint. It was awkward.
Out of all of my Saturday evening partners, my favourite was Vivian. She was fun, outgoing, and just generally easy to get along with and talk to. She was always getting out and having some crazy adventures, and her personality went a long way towards making work fun.
After a few Saturdays together we started calling ourselves “FabSat”, because we were Fab and worked Saturdays. Fun fact: it’s hard for a Canadian to pull off the word “Fab”. We would show up late to the Saturday evening activities with other teachers, catch up on our drinks quickly, and yell “FABSAT” at each other while high fiving.
One of the cool things about being an English teacher in Japan is that you get to meet and interact with a bunch of people that you wouldn’t otherwise talk to. I also learned the importance of good coworkers; they make the difference between simply working and actually enjoying your job.
How to get the most out of your time in Japan
Posted by Barniferous in Friends and coworkers, Life in Japan on July 15, 2016
There are a few good stories coming up involving my friend and coworker Vivian from England. I met a lot of different people during my 3 years teaching in Japan, and Vivian was always one of my favourites due to her personality and attitude. Here’s a good example of what made her so cool:
Shortly after Vivian came to Japan, she learned that the local “English school and bar”, Speak E-Z, had salsa dancing classes one night a week. Vivian loved salsa dancing, and was really excited to go check out the classes. In the days leading up to her first class, she invited virtually all of the teachers in the area to come with her. Some said no, many said yes.
On the night of the first class, she got dressed up, and started trying to collect her dance team. One after the other, everyone cancelled. Some didn’t feel like it, some didn’t have anything to wear, and one small group decided to watch a movie instead.
Many people in this situation would have given up, taken off their salsa dancing clothes, and sat at home, quietly hating their friends. Vivian decided to go by herself instead.
She walked into Speak E-Z, introduced herself to everyone in the room, and then proceeded to have a lot of fun dancing and hanging out afterwards. She came home with a phone full of new contact numbers and three dates set up over the next few weeks!
I know that walking into a room full of strangers and introducing yourself is not easy for most people. But if you’re going to move away from friends and family and travel half way around the world, you should at least get out of the house and make some new experiences. Vivian had exactly the right idea, and she made the most out of her time in Japan.
The story of the knee injury
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Life in Canada, The Ex on July 14, 2016
I have had a dodgy knee for years, which as you can see in a recent post, I occasionally re-injure. The story of my knee injury is in two parts, the first one is not so good, and the second one I stand behind proudly.
Part 1: Everclear is never a good idea
I joined Delta Upsilon Fraternity in 2002, and in the summer I went to my first “Big Ass” meeting. We had weekly meetings during the school year, but only one meeting during the summer. The summer meeting was usually held outside of the city, and included a full afternoon and evening of discussion about the previous year, the upcoming year, and a chance for brothers to air and resolve any grievances. Also, drinking. A lot of drinking. Due to the size of the meeting, we called it “Big Ass”.
After the meeting we were sitting around a fire drinking beer. During that time, someone pulled out a bottle of Everclear, which I had never tried before. For those unaware, Everclear is a grain alcohol drink that is usually somewhere between 75% and 95% alcohol by volume. At the time it seemed like a good idea to start doing shots (it wasn’t).
Everyone was already in a pretty good mood, and the combination of the beach setting, fire, and fraternity brothers led to some good-natured rowdiness. At some point I snuck up behind one of my pledge brothers and tripped him for some reason, which I can’t recall, but again probably seemed like a good idea at the time. I ran away giggling as he chased me. I am not the fastest of land mammals, and he was a hockey player with much better cardio than I had. He quickly caught up to me and gave me a shove / bodycheck from behind while I was at my unimpressive top speed. My right leg planted on the ground and my entire body twisted around it. I felt something pop and hit the ground in a heap. I was surprised to find that I could barely stand after that, and had to be helped back to the cabin. We laughed it off, but within a few hours my knee had swollen to about triple the usual size. After a very uncomfortable sleep on the floor I was returned to Winnipeg where I spent the rest of the day with my leg iced and elevated.
Getting hurt during alcohol fueled shenanigans – not the best story. Keep reading!
Part 2: Runaway balloon
Several weeks later my knee was feeling normal again, and I was out with my girlfriend at the time (The Ex) and her family. We went out for dinner with her parents and family. We had a total of 6 adults and 2 kids. One of the kids was just a toddler, and had been given a nice red balloon on a string. She was proudly carrying her balloon, waving it, bouncing it, and generally enjoying a balloon the way that only a toddler can.
Winnipeg is a windy city. The terrain is very, very flat, and the newer areas of the city don’t yet have tree cover to provide windbreaks. We happened to be in a big box store area off Kenaston, and it was a very windy day. As we were getting into the car, a gust came up and ripped the red balloon out of the happy little girl’s hands, blowing it towards the undeveloped empty field nearby. Without a thought, I took off running after the balloon. I reached the end of the parking lot, and continued sprinting in the nearby as yet undeveloped field trying to catch up with the balloon. Just as I started to get close enough to consider grabbing the string, I felt the familiar “pop” in my knee and my leg gave out.
When I was a child I spent 4 years in kids gymnastics. I credit this with training my body to roll and protect my neck when I fall. Thanks to this instinct, what would have been a fall on my face turned into a somewhat graceful roll to a stop. I watched from the ground as the balloon blew away, never to return.
I limped back to the car, looking and feeling ridiculous. However, my selfless sacrifice did manage to earn me some respect and sympathy from The Ex and her family.
When people ask me how I hurt my knee, I like to gloss over the first part of the story and focus on the balloon chase. Anyone can be a drunk idiot and hurt themselves, but there are few things more noble than trying to rescue a little girl’s balloon.
March 4, 2006 – Too many stairs
Posted by Barniferous in Life in Japan, Teaching English on July 13, 2016
Numazu NOVA is in a two story building. The main reception area and teachers room are on the main floor, and the classrooms are all on the second floor*.
On my way back to the teachers room after a lesson, I slipped and twisted my bad knee on the stairs. My knee hadn’t given me any trouble for a few years, and I had forgotten how much it hurt. I was also suddenly aware how many stairs there were in Japan. I had to go up and down the stairs for the rest of the day for my lesson. It was not a fun day at work.
I am thankful for the seldom used elevator at my apartment building!
* Dear British people. I know that you would call the floor immediately above the ground floor “the first floor”, while most of the other English speaking countries would call it “the second floor”. Yes, I am aware that you invented the language, but your way doesn’t make sense.
March 3, 2006 – The endless bounties of Don Quijote
Posted by Barniferous in Azeroth, Friends and coworkers, Life in Japan, Ooka City Plaza on July 13, 2016
A new Don Quijote (DonKi) location recently opened down the street from my apartment. Unlike all of the other teachers who live close to the station, I am fortunate enough to live across the street from 7-11, and less than a 5 minute walk from both Seiyu and DonKi. I love my apartment!
After work, Super Dave, Azeroth, and I met up and went to DonKi to load up on snack food. After a solid hour of wandering around, we left with booze, pretzels, salsa (hooray), spam, and other goodies.
I’m not sure whose idea the spam and cheese sandwiches were, but it wasn’t the best idea. Other than that, we had an enjoyable evening of snacking, drinking, and watching Fawlty Towers. The show is still funny 30 years later, and I’m sure people will still enjoy it for many years to come.
If you are visiting Japan, you must visit a DonKi location. It’s a necessary part of the Japan experience.
March 2, 2006 – Bananaphone
Posted by Barniferous in Life in Japan on July 11, 2016
Yes, I live in Japan and have a whole country full of exciting things to discover. Instead I spent most of my free time today looking at flash animations in my apartment.
This made me laugh – it contains Raffi music and bad language. It’s funnier for me because I saw Raffi live when I was a kid (Baby Beluga Tour represent!!)
March 1, 2006 – Keeping cake out of the rain
Posted by Barniferous in Life in Japan, The Penpal on July 2, 2016
Happy birthday to my wonderful fiancee The Penpal!
I worked an early shift today, finishing at 5:00pm. My plan was to cook birthday dinner for The Penpal. In the past I didn’t cook for The Penpal very often in my apartment because chances were good that one of my roommates would be around. However, Palmer has just moved to Hokkaido and Azeroth was working a late shift, meaning that The Penpal and I had the whole place to ourselves for the evening.
I decided to pick up a cake on the way home at one of the fancy department stores near Numazu station. Fancy cakes in Japan are an art form; the biggest challenge I had was which one to pick. It was raining a little when I entered the store, and pouring when I left. To keep the cake dry, I had to hold the cake bag up directly under my umbrella. I must have looked ridiculous wearing a shirt and tie, holding a cake at eye level under my umbrella as I walked through a downpour to my apartment. It was worth it, the cake was dry when I got home! (I was not)
The Penpal and I had a good evening together. I really hope NOVA is not in a rush to find us a new roommate; I could get used to having free time in the apartment!
February 28, 2006 – Hypnotize
Posted by Barniferous in Life in Japan on June 28, 2016
I just picked up the new album “Hypnotize” by System of a Down and I can’t stop listening to it! SO COOL!!!
Foreign CDs are expensive in Japan, but still cheaper than CDs by Japanese artists, which makes absolutely no sense to me at all.
Drinking in Japan 
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