Disclaimer: UPS is the nickname of one of my friends visiting Japan. This post has nothing to do with United Parcel Service.
After enjoying bubble tea with The Penpal , my friend UPS and I met up with my coworker Vivian and her roommate Chrissy. Vivian had met UPS a few days ago, thought he was fun, and brought out her roommate to hang out with us. Over drinks UPS and Chrissy started immediately flirting with each other.
After a few too many drinks, we went to Uta Club, the favourite discount karaoke place for Numazu area teachers. It was at this point that Vivian and Chrissy, both British, unleashed on us one of the worst pop songs to ever come out of the UK: Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) by The Cheeky Girls.
Some of the greatest music ever written has come from the UK. Musicians like David Bowie, The Beatles, The Who, Radiohead, and so many others have created amazing, timeless music that has brought joy and enhanced lives around the world. Unfortunately, for every fantastic musician, there is one horrible, soulless, pop monstrosity that summons an awful hit song from the depths of music hell. The Cheeky Girls represent the worst parts of pop music.
Usually I would link the song, but I have too much respect for my readers to link a catchy earworm that includes lyrics like “touch my bum, this is life”. You can look it up yourself at your own risk.
While we were singing and drinking, the flirting continued between UPS and Chrissy. Vivian and I were singing an epic duet, when we turned around and saw UPS and Chrissy making out like teenagers. Vivian mentioned that she didn’t want to see that, so UPS and Chrissy crawled under the table and started making out there.
Vivian and I sang a few more songs, deliberately being off key and horrible to try to distract our friends from their not very stealthy makeout session. We eventually realized that UPS and Chrissy were no longer interested in singing and wanted to call it a night. Chrissy suggested that UPS and I should go over to their apartment for another drink (read: more makeouts). I was tired and wanted to get home, but since UPS didn’t know his way around Numazu and didn’t have a phone, getting separated would create some problems for the next morning. Vivian said that if necessary I could crash on the floor in her room, which is exactly what ended up happening.
Vivian and I fell asleep next to each other on her floor, trying our best to ignore the giggling noises from Chrissy’s room. UPS was absolutely making the most of his short time in Japan, and who was I to stand in his way?