Posts Tagged wingman
Disclaimer: UPS is the nickname of one of my friends visiting Japan. This post has nothing to do with United Parcel Service.
After enjoying bubble tea with The Penpal , my friend UPS and I met up with my coworker Vivian and her roommate Chrissy. Vivian had met UPS a few days ago, thought he was fun, and brought out her roommate to hang out with us. Over drinks UPS and Chrissy started immediately flirting with each other.
After a few too many drinks, we went to Uta Club, the favourite discount karaoke place for Numazu area teachers. It was at this point that Vivian and Chrissy, both British, unleashed on us one of the worst pop songs to ever come out of the UK: Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) by The Cheeky Girls.
Some of the greatest music ever written has come from the UK. Musicians like David Bowie, The Beatles, The Who, Radiohead, and so many others have created amazing, timeless music that has brought joy and enhanced lives around the world. Unfortunately, for every fantastic musician, there is one horrible, soulless, pop monstrosity that summons an awful hit song from the depths of music hell. The Cheeky Girls represent the worst parts of pop music.
Usually I would link the song, but I have too much respect for my readers to link a catchy earworm that includes lyrics like “touch my bum, this is life”. You can look it up yourself at your own risk.
While we were singing and drinking, the flirting continued between UPS and Chrissy. Vivian and I were singing an epic duet, when we turned around and saw UPS and Chrissy making out like teenagers. Vivian mentioned that she didn’t want to see that, so UPS and Chrissy crawled under the table and started making out there.
Vivian and I sang a few more songs, deliberately being off key and horrible to try to distract our friends from their not very stealthy makeout session. We eventually realized that UPS and Chrissy were no longer interested in singing and wanted to call it a night. Chrissy suggested that UPS and I should go over to their apartment for another drink (read: more makeouts). I was tired and wanted to get home, but since UPS didn’t know his way around Numazu and didn’t have a phone, getting separated would create some problems for the next morning. Vivian said that if necessary I could crash on the floor in her room, which is exactly what ended up happening.
Vivian and I fell asleep next to each other on her floor, trying our best to ignore the giggling noises from Chrissy’s room. UPS was absolutely making the most of his short time in Japan, and who was I to stand in his way?
After an eventful training class where I experienced my first earthquake I was just looking forward to getting back to Kawasaki for a quick beer at Kiosk before heading home. Mississippi Mark and I were on the train together – I was sitting and he was standing holding the train handle. Suddenly, a Japanese girl walks up to him and starts talking to him in English. I could only see the girl from the right side and she looked pretty cute.
The girl introduced herself as Momoko and started asking Mississippi Mark how long he had been in Japan, where he works, and where he has been in Japan so far (the standard questions).
When you are not from Japan, it is difficult to guess the age of the Japanese people you are talking to. Momoko was young looking and fashionably dressed. This meant she could have been anywhere from 15 to 35. Trying to help narrow down the age range, I asked her if she was a student. She answered that she was studying graphic design at a local art school. This meant that she was at least out of high school, which was a relief.
During the conversation, Mark mentioned that he wanted to go to Roppongi sometime. Roppongi is a well known foreigner friendly nightlife area in Tokyo. Momoko says “Don’t go to Roppongi! That’s where this happened”, pointing out the MASSIVE BLACK EYE she had on her left side. Mississippi had seen this the whole time, but it was not visible from my angle. She also pointed out her busted up lip and then told us “Don’t worry – the other girl looks much worse!”.
Well that’s a relief.
She insisted on getting Mark’s email address and told him she would invite him to Roppongi sometime and promised not to fight if they went out together. After she left, Mark told me that he would be bringing backup if he ever went out with Momoko because he was afraid of her. Man, I love this country!