Archive for category Hello House
June 13, 2004 – Music and movies with The Penpal
Posted by Barniferous in Hello House, Life in Japan, Movies, The Penpal on June 26, 2014
Today The Penpal came from Numazu to visit me in Kawasaki again. We hung out in my room at Hello House and listened to music. Afterwards we watched my Pixies DVD. I also practiced my Japanese by trying to retell the story about Green attempting to eat 20 Frosties at Wendy’s in Japanese. The Penpal understood my explanation of the story, but couldn’t understand why someone would try to eat 20 Frosties at one time. If I can’t explain it in English, I have no chance of explaining it in Japanese.
After she returned to Numazu, I went to the video store and rented American Beauty and Silence of the Lambs. I had seen both before, but they were both excellent.
(2014 Update) The ending of Silence of the Lambs continues to be terrifying even years later.
June 6, 2004 pt2 – Lost plane tickets
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Hello House, Team Awesome Sauce on June 19, 2014
The guys are leaving tomorrow, so after returning from our rainy day in Kamakura, everyone slowly started packing. We also watched the hockey game on the Hello House TV (Calgary lost again) and tried to finish any leftover alcohol from Canada.
All of the guys booked their flights through a travel agent in Green’s home town in northern Alberta. The travel agent was a friend of Green’s father. For some unknown reason, the travel agent booked all of the tickets from Winnipeg to Chicago to Tokyo instead of the faster, easier Winnipeg to Vancouver to Tokyo. Also, not everyone was on the same flight home. Flounder was flying solo at 2:00pm, while Green, Code Red and Hippie were on a 4:00pm flight.
During the packing, Hippie couldn’t find his ticket. He carefully checked all of his bags and still couldn’t find it. We searched my room that Hippie and I had been staying in from top to bottom – no ticket. Flounder, Code Red and Green searched through their room and suitcases carefully – still no ticket. After about an hour of careful searching, we took to the phone.
Due to the time, we couldn’t get in touch with the airlines. Green called the travel agent and someone in the office answered the phone. Green explained that he and his friends were in Japan, leaving tomorrow, and one of them lost a ticket. The travel agent told Green that they were closed and hung up on him. Hippie then turned to his last resort – calling his parents for help.
We got a call back at 4:30am from Hippie’s father who had just talked to United Airlines. Hippie could show up at the airport with ID and fill out a lost ticket form. He would receive a new ticket in exchange for $100 US dollars. Hippie was not thrilled about having to pay, but was happy that we would be able to go home.
It turns out that Hippie losing his ticket was a good thing for the whole group, but we didn’t find out until we got to the airport…
(2014 Update) It’s hard to imagine that only 10 years ago it was that difficult to get in touch with an airline.
May 25, 2004 – Bad ideas at family restaurants
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Greater Tokyo Area, Hello House, Lux, Team Awesome Sauce on May 31, 2014
During the day we hung out in my room playing Playstation games and generally recovering from our adventures so far. In the evening we had plans to go to a family restaurant in Machida. Most family restaurants in Japan feature a “drink bar” for about 200 yen. A drink bar is a self serve soft drink area where you can enjoy free refills of coffee, tea, sodas and water. This particular restaurant also featured a 600 yen drink bar with alcohol. You read that correctly: for the low price of 600 yen a customer can mix their own cocktails. I think the intent is for customers to have one or two drinks with dinner, but there is technically no limit.
Yes, this does sound like a terrible idea in the making.
Lux and Zoe were going to accompany us to the restaurant. Before we left they took me aside and expressed concern that my friends would be in the restaurant all night taking advantage of the unlimited alcohol. They suggested telling the guys that there was a one hour time limit on the drink bar. I disagreed and tried to explain that the idea of a time limit would only lead to problems. I explained that I knew these guys, and a time limit would be a challenge to them. Lux and Zoe continued to disagree with me, so eventually I told them I would play along, but I assumed no responsibility for the outcome.
We all boarded the Odakyu line for Machida, and explained the “rules” of the drink bar. The guys were all very excited and started asking questions about when the one hour time limit started – from the time we sat down? from the time we order? I told them I would get the details at the restaurant.
We got a table for 7 and placed our orders. As soon as the orders were taken, everyone rushed the drink bar and started mixing drinks. We started slowly, with everyone checking their watches. By about the 30 minute mark there was always at least one of us refilling their drink at any time. For the last 10 minutes I am pretty sure that Green did not return to his seat at all. We all left full of delicious food and booze for under 2000 yen per person.
When you drink a large amount of alcohol in a short time, you can go from feeling completely sober to drunk in a matter of minutes. This happened for most of us on the walk from the restaurant to the station. We passed two large gaijins walking in the other direction. Code Red asked if they were Canadian like us, and the said that no, they were American Marines. Code Red responded “Go Yankee Go!”, to which Flounder added “home”. Our military friends did not take kindly to this, and suggested they would meet us later. Code Red, missing the implicit threat in the comment, answered “awesome! We will see you guys later!”. The marines clarified that it would not be a pleasant meeting. I believe Hippie and Code Red tried to apologize as we continued walking away.
By the time we arrived at the station, we were drunk and belligerent. While we waited on the platform, I noticed that a few train security officers watched our group from a distance. They seemed relieved as we boarded the train and ceased to be their problem.
When we returned to Hello House, Green removed his shirt and started walking around the house. Lux and I hung out on the stoop reflecting on the amount of alcohol that we all drank for 600 yen each. Eventually one of the other Hello House residents, a gay British male, came to the stoop to complain about Green walking around shirtless. His comment was “nobody wants to see that”.
Video games, cheap alcohol, pissing off Marines, train security, and unwanted shirtlessness. All in a days work.
May 24, 2004 pt1 – Don’t touch that!
Posted by Barniferous in Hello House, Lux, Shenanigans, Team Awesome Sauce on May 28, 2014
After our long day out in Tokyo, we got a very slow start to our Monday. We were all hanging out in the room that Flounder, Code Red and Green were sharing, talking about our upcoming plans. The room had a Japanese style closet with sliding door. Code Red moved his futon into the closet and turned it into a private bedroom. There were a lot of “in the closet jokes”. Code Red didn’t care, because the sliding door gave him some relief from Flounder and Green’s horrific drunken snoring.
In the previous evening, we purchased a number of sex cans (that’s the nicest way I can describe them) from Don Quijote. We opened one of them up to inspect it, and in doing so accidentally removed the label. It was a plastic can with a pink sponge on top. In the middle of the sponge was a hole. Inside the hole were various flexible bumps and other textures, as well as a lubricant. If you need a description of what a sex can is used for, you are too young to hear a description of what a sex can is used for.
Lux and Katsuragi came to hang out with us and ask us about our plans for the day. While we were talking, the plastic can caught Katsuragi’s attention. She asked what it was, and nobody said anything. She then put her finger into the hole on top. At this exact moment, one of the guys caught the fantastic picture above of Lux’s expression of horror. Katsuragi came to a sudden realization of what the product was for, and then chased me down the hall attempting to rub the can lube from her finger on my shirt.
Totally worth 600 yen!
May 23, 2004 pt3 – Everything is jumbo in Canada
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Hello House, Team Awesome Sauce, Tokyo on May 27, 2014
After getting a taste of beer at Shakey’s Pizza, we decided that we would really enjoy some more beer. We boarded the Yamanote line and headed for Shibuya. The area around Shibuya station is always entertaining for visitors. Between the massive crowds of people, the tall buildings, the giant video screens, the lights, and the noise it is a great way to get overstimulated. After wandering around for a while we headed to GasPanic for cheap beer.
As much as some people talk badly about GasPanic (with good reason), it is easy to find, has cheap drinks, and has no problems with five casually dressed, thirsty foreigners. We managed to find a table and ordered two pitchers. Green used one of the pitchers as his own personal drink, while the rest of us filled our glasses from the other pitcher.
We hung out at GasPanic for a some time getting more than a little drunk. It was a Sunday night, so GasPanic was not exactly lively. I convinced the group that while we were in Shibuya, we could be having more fun at Don Quijote. The problem was that I was full of beer and don’t know Shibuya well. It took several wrong turns, but we finally found the giant smiling penguin and proceeded to enter the most fun store in the country.
It is not terribly surprising that 5 drunk 20 something males will eventually end up in the adult toy section. The guys marveled at the wide variety of products available. They were particularly interested in the disposable sex cans for men. At this point I decided this would make the best souvenir ever and generously offered to buy some for them to take home. While Code Red, Flounder and Hippie went to other parts of the store, I got Green to hold out his arms and proceeded to stack up 8 sex cans. Since we didn’t want to keep walking around the store while carrying the sex cans, Green and I started to make our way towards the cash register. Finding the way out of DonKi is difficult at the best of times. Finding the way out of DonKi after several beers is even more challenging. On one of our many wrong turns Green dropped the entire stack of sex cans all over the floor. The other shoppers looked on in amused horror as he tried to gather them all up again while I stood by and laughed.
I paid for the sex cans, then Green and I met the others outside. We were getting pretty close to the last train, so we decided to call it a night and returned to Shibuya Station. From Shibuya we took Yamanote line to Shinjuku, then boarded Odakyu line towards Noborito. On the Odakyu train, Flounder was standing and holding onto the train grip. Two Shibuya girls were standing next to him. For those who don’t know, Shibuya girls are fashionable looking young females with fake tans, coloured hair, and lots of accessories on their phones. Without any warning, one of them reached over and started stroking Flounder’s arm hair. He looked down and said hi. She looked up at him and said “You are jumbo”. Flounder calmly replied “I’m from Canada. Everything is jumbo in Canada”.
Not wanting to be left out, Green reached into his backpack, past the 8 sex cans, to find my copy of “Making Out in Japanese“, a hilarious phrasebook for casual Japanese in different situations. He tried out a few lines, but his pronunciation was so terrible that the Shibuya girls couldn’t understand what he was talking about. Most notably, he attempted several times to say “kiss me” which is pronounced “key-soo she-tay”. Green kept reading the romaji as “kiss-oo shitty”. Green finally got fed up and just pointed at the line in the book. The girls thought this was hilarious and then sat down and started reading the book while laughing at the most ridiculous phrases.
Nobody ended up getting any kisses, but we got several pictures with the Shibuya girls while they were laughing at Making Out in Japanese. We got back to Hello House and hung out with Lux explaining our awesome day in Tokyo.
May 22, 2004 pt1 – Chocolate Love Stick
Posted by Barniferous in Greater Tokyo Area, Hello House, Team Awesome Sauce on May 23, 2014

I woke up “early” and went out with Hippie to Shop 99 to buy materials for a big breakfast. As a group we decided to rotate breakfast cooking responsibilities daily. Flounder cooked scrambled eggs, bacon and toast for the group.
After eating we went to Daiei supermarket for shopping and sightseeing. Going to a supermarket in a foreign country is always fun. Like me, the guys noticed the small shopping carts, the tiny meat section, the huge fish section, and the different products available. They particularly liked the horrible jingle that kept playing on repeat in the meat section. We got some supplied for breakfasts and lunches, and in addition picked up some mini donuts and Giant Pocky.
Other than groceries, we took some time looking around the department store. The guys were shocked by the “Black Music” section in the music store. In addition to rock, pop and classical, many music stores in Japan feature a section called “black music”. In it you will find rap, reggae, and R&B by artists of all skin tones. This name would be horribly inappropriate back home.
We returned to Hello House and worked out our schedule for the next few weeks while listening to Code Red’s music purchase – a CD of Japanese bands covering Green Day songs. While hanging out, we broke out the snacks from earlier. The donuts came in a box. Inside the box was a bag. Inside that bag were 36 small donuts individually wrapped in plastic. The amount of over-packaging in Japan is shocking, especially considering the strict rules about disposing of garbage.
The Giant Pocky was just like regular Pocky, but huge. While Hippie was in the middle of talking about something, someone (likely Flounder) jammed a Giant Pocky into his mouth and yelled “CHOCOLATE LOVE STICK!!”. My friends and I were never considered the most mature adults around.
May 21, 2004 pt2 – My friend is Canada
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Hello House, Team Awesome Sauce on May 22, 2014
When the guys got back to Hello House, we organized the sleeping arrangements. Hippie would be staying on the foldy floor couch in my room, while Flounder, Code Red and Green would be sharing the extra room that I rented for their stay. Fortunately for them, the extra room had a bed. Flounder and Green agreed to alternate nights in the bed and on the floor, while Code Red set up a futon in the closet.
After unpacking, the travelers got their first experience with Hello House’s coin operated showers. After showers and a quick tour of Hello House, we set out in search of beer.
Since it was Friday night, all of the izakayas in the area were very busy. In my first three choices I was told that there would be a two hour wait, which didn’t work for us. As we walked from place to place looking for a beer, we attracted a lot of attention from the locals. It wasn’t often that they saw five enthusiastic gaijins walking around the Noborito area. One of the highlights came when I was not paying attention to where I was walking and managed to walk directly into a pole designed to separate the street from the sidewalk. The pole was just at the right height to hit me in my lower nether regions as I passed over it. The other highlight was a very drunk girl who started talking to us in English while her boyfriend held her up. When we told her we were Canadian she proudly replied “My friend is Canada!”.
We eventually ended up at an izakaya on the other side of Mukogaokayuen station that was full of hard drinking Japanese people. When I say hard drinking, I mean stumbling to the bathroom, puking, then coming back to finish their beer drinking. The frat guys approved. We ordered beer and izakaya food. Flounder and Green tried sashimi for the first (and probably last) time. After the bar we returned to Hello House to watch a bootleg copy of Wrestlemania while drinking some of the ample supplies of alcohol that the guys brought from Canada. It was a great first night!
(2014 update) It turns out that the izakaya staff were trying to tell me that there would be a 2 hour limit on our table, not a 2 hour wait. My Japanese was still pretty bad at the time.
May 12, 2004 – Discount beef jerky
Posted by Barniferous in Hello House, Life in Japan, Movies on May 12, 2014
One of the other Hello House residents and I were bored, so we went out to rent a movie. A coin toss got us the surprisingly good “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”.
Discount beef jerky is never a good idea.
April 27, 2004 – 30 Seconds to Fame
Posted by Barniferous in Hello House, Life in Japan on April 27, 2014
Another night of 30 Seconds to Fame in the Hello House common room. Good times!
April 26, 2004 – Friends Marathon
Posted by Barniferous in Hello House, Life in Japan on April 26, 2014

Tonight in the Hello House common room people were watching Ally McBeal. I hate Ally McBeal. To fix the situation, I busted out my homemade VCD copies of Friends Season 9 that I brought to Japan. I was very proud of my VCDs – I took a lot of effort to make a menu title screen with graphics and everything.
The good news was that I watched 9 back to back episodes before calling it a night. This was much, MUCH better than Ally McBeal. The bad news was that I lost 500 yen in a bet with TimTam that she couldn’t stay awake for the entire 9 episode marathon.
The wild times never stop in Hello House!




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