Archive for category Friends and coworkers

August 31, 2004 – Gyukaku and Homestar Runner

In the morning I went to the immigration office to update my alien registration card (aka gaijin card). All foreign residents of Japan are required to carry their gaijin cards around at all times, and to keep the information up to date. Failing to do so would be a bad idea.

In the afternoon I went shopping with Zoe, who is also enjoying a day off. We went to Yodobashi Camera to inquire about internet connections. Unfortunately it would have taken a month to get hooked up, leaving me with only about a month of internet before the expected date of my transfer. At this point it’s really not worthwhile to go through the trouble. While in Yodobashi, I resisted the urge to buy a DVD burner, but I did end up getting some cool futon covers and a new pillow.

In the evening Zoe, Lux and I went to Gyukaku again and then spent time watching Homestar Runner. My mini-holiday is now over.

 

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August 26, 2004 – More Twin Peaks

damn fine coffee

Today at work I talked to my area manager and found out that my transfer to Shizuoka will “probably” take place November 1st. I am excited!

After work I watched yet more Twin Peaks with Lux and Zoe. I seriously love this show.

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August 15, 2004 – The Lockup

Lock up

During work I was counting down lessons until a rare day off. After work, most of the teachers went for a small party at a nearby Izakaya called “The Lockup“. It is easily one of the most insane places I have ever been to in Japan.

The Lockup is an izakaya chain that has a B-grade horror movie haunted house / insane asylum / prison theme. The leader of our group was handcuffed upon entry and led to our room by a waitress in a shiny fetish police uniform. Our room was actually a cell complete with metal bars and chains. All of the drinks were served in test tubes and beakers. I am not sure which movie or movies inspired the decor, but they were probably featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was truly bizarre.

We got a three hour all you can eat, all you can drink deal for the group. Half way through our evening there was a “jail break”. All of the lights started flashing, sirens starting blaring, and a bunch of monsters escaped and started running around trying to scare the customers. One of the monsters saw a room with 20 English teachers, many larger than him, and decided to move along quickly. After a few minutes of mayhem and monsters running around, the guards shot and killed the monsters, and Michael Jackson’s Thriller started playing through the sound system. I am honestly not making any of this up!

Since we were English teachers, we all took very good advantage of the all you can drink deal. The group of us noisily stumbled back towards Kawasaki station. Just as we got close to the station, Mohammed realized that he was still wearing the izakaya’s toilet slippers, and that his shoes were back at The Lockup. We all had a good laugh at his expense. The entire evening was a lot of fun. I recommend The Lockup if you want a strange night out in Japan.

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August 14, 2004 – Adventures at the lost and found

Today I didn’t have to teach any kids, I got a double voice class, and an empty lesson at the end of the day. This way by all measures a good day at work.

During the shift I was chatting with Maria. I tried to help her a lot when she first became a teacher, and we got along very well at work. In the four months since she started she had become very comfortable in the classroom, and had an active social life outside of work.

While chatting, she told me that she had left her bag on a train. Japan Rail told her she could pick up her bag at the lost and found in Noborito station. I told her that Noborito was my home station, and offered to take her there and help her get her bag back.

Maria is a very outgoing and friendly person who is not shy at all. Half way to Noborito she pulled out her phone and told me to check out some of the pictures she had taken with her phone’s camera. I looked at the phone and was very surprised to find myself looking at pictures Maria had taken of herself in the shower. Naked.

While my brain was trying to process what was happening, Maria told me that she was very proud of how she looked, considering she was in her mid 40’s. I think I squeaked out a sound of agreement. She was also proud of her skills as a photographer, happy that she was able to take such good pictures of herself with the tiny camera in the cell phone. I probably squeaked out some other sound of agreement. She then took her phone back, and changed the subject like nothing ever happened.

When we got to Noborito station, Maria tried to use her very limited Japanese to claim her bag back at lost and found. The middle aged JR staffer we talked to spoke no English at all, but Maria kept trying her best and smiling. The JR employee gave her a claim receipt and I helped her fill it out. She returned to the counter with the completed form, and tried to ask if the form was okay.

Her first attempt involved pointing at the form and asking “genki?” which means healthy. The employee looked confused. She then pointed at the form and asked “watashi suki?” which roughly means “do you like me?”. He seemed more confused. Her third attempt involved pointing at the form and saying “sugoi?” which means “great?”. Same reaction. Finally she remembered the word “daijoubu” which means “ok”. He nodded and retrieved Maria’s bag. When he handed it over, she gave him a perfect “domo arigato gozaimasu” (thank you very much). He and I both burst out laughing.

Being friends with Maria was always interesting!

(2014 Update) I omitted the nude selfies in the original post, both because I worked with “Maria” and because I had a girlfriend who read my blog. I assure you that this actually truly happened! A few days later I saw her showing off the pictures in the teachers room to a very surprised male coworker. I don’t think she was trying to hit on anybody, I think she was just legitimately proud of how she looked. If I look that good (in a manly way) in my mid 40’s, I will be proud too!

(2014 Update 2) I apologize to anyone who was searching for nude selfies and found this story instead. I hope you enjoyed it, and suggest you will have better luck finding pictures on Tumblr. Or Google. Or one million other websites.

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July 29, 2004 – Happy birthday to me!

Happy birthday to me! I turned 26 today!

I got woken up in the morning with a birthday call from my parents. Lux gave me some presents including a six pack of Labatt Blue. I love Japanese beer, but it’s always good to drink something Canadian when I get a chance. Canadian beer brings back a lot of good memories.

Work was a very relaxing day at Keikyu Kawasaki NOVA. After work, the usual Thursday night karaoke became birthday karaoke. The regular Thursday karaoke group is usually about 6-8 people. Tonight we had about double that. I had the best of intentions to be sensible with nomi-hodai, but ended up having a little too much fun.

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July 21-23, 2004 – The saga of the new computer

July 21, 2004 (day 1) – I used a shift swap with Jem today in order to get a break from my 20 days of work in a row. I ate breakfast outside of Hello House, and had a pretty relaxing day. In the evening, I went to pick up a used computer in central Tokyo. My sister’s ancient laptop is just not enough for me anymore. I searched English language ads online, and found someone selling a used desktop tower for 15,000 yen (about $150). It isn’t the world’s greatest computer, but it is a huge step up from the laptop.

Zoe and Lux came with me to pick up the computer. The seller was a Malaysian man with a fantastic apartment. He seemed nice, but Zoe and Lux were getting a creepy vibe from him. We tested out the computer and it seemed to work well, so I handed over the cash and we were on our way. I didn’t realize how big and heavy the computer was until about 5 minutes into our walk back to the subway station. The tower was huge, so it was awkward to get a grip on. I am very happy that I brought friends with me to help with the keyboard and doors. Carrying a desktop computer through busy, massive Shinjuku station is NOT fun.

On the way home, Zoe almost got into a fight with a salaryman on the train. He was sleeping while standing and kept inadvertently hitting Zoe with his umbrella. She responded by kicking him every time the umbrella hit her. Good times!

When I got the computer home, I formatted the hard drive so I could install a fresh copy of Windows. I rebooted after formatting and I couldn’t get the computer to work! F**K!! The rest of my evening was very frustrating.

July 22, 2004 (day 2) – I bailed on Thursday night karaoke to spend time working on the computer. It still isn’t working correctly. I ended up watching The Shield in the Hello House common room while grumbling about wasting 15,000 yen.

July 23, 2004 (day 3) – I got some ideas on the computer from my more tech savvy coworkers. The main problem is that the CD-Rom is on a SCSI interface, which won’t work without drivers. Windows has appropriate drivers, but my Windows 98 install disk is on CD-Rom. I ended up making a simple boot disk on floppy so I could get the new computer running. I then used my box of floppy disks to slowly copy the Windows install files from the CD-Rom on the laptop to the hard drive on the new desktop.

Once all the install files were finally copied, I was able to run Windows installation from the hard drive on the desktop. When Windows finally installed, it recognized the CD-Rom and everything started working! It took forever, but the new computer is finally running! Victory!

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July 16, 2004 – Return to Gyu-Kaku!

I was working with a slight hangover from last night’s karaoke. Working with a hangover, no matter how small, is not fun.

After work I took Lux to Gyu-Kaku. Once again, the food was fantastic! Lux is a smoker, and usually I don’t enjoy eating in the smoking section of restaurants. However, the ventilation at Gyu-Kaku is very good due to all the smoky grills at each table. The fan above our table sucked up all the cigarette smoke and I didn’t notice it at all. Just one of the many reasons why Gyu-kaku is great.

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July 9, 2004 – New Voice Co-ordinator

Today was my first day back to work after my family left. I had 3 kids classes to welcome me back to the office, but they were all pretty good. I also learned that I am the new Voice co-ordinator at Kawasaki NOVA. The Voice room is a general conversation area for students of all levels. Occasionally the school will offer some specialized topics, including Club 7 (for low level students) or special topic Voice. The special topics are usually something related to one of the teacher’s countries, or teaching language for a particular task. My job as Voice co-ordinator will be to schedule the special Voice topics, and ensure that they are evenly distributed among all the teachers. I am pretty excited about it, even though there is no increase in my pay.

After work I went for Kiosk beers with Anzac. Usually we will get a can of Asahi or two and watch people in the station. Our highlight of the evening was a really drunk middle aged businessman in a suit who had peed his pants. When I say “peed his pants”, I don’t mean a few drops; he literally hosed down everything. I don’t envy the people next to him on the train.

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May 25, 2004 – Bad ideas at family restaurants

Flounder, Green, Lux, Me, Zoe, and Code Red after too much booze at Machida station

Flounder, Green, Lux, Me, Zoe, and Code Red after too much booze at Machida station

During the day we hung out in my room playing Playstation games and generally recovering from our adventures so far. In the evening we had plans to go to a family restaurant in Machida. Most family restaurants in Japan feature a “drink bar” for about 200 yen. A drink bar is a self serve soft drink area where you can enjoy free refills of coffee, tea, sodas and water. This particular restaurant also featured a 600 yen drink bar with alcohol. You read that correctly: for the low price of 600 yen a customer can mix their own cocktails. I think the intent is for customers to have one or two drinks with dinner, but there is technically no limit.

Yes, this does sound like a terrible idea in the making.

Lux and Zoe were going to accompany us to the restaurant. Before we left they took me aside and expressed concern that my friends would be in the restaurant all night taking advantage of the unlimited alcohol. They suggested telling the guys that there was a one hour time limit on the drink bar. I disagreed and tried to explain that the idea of a time limit would only lead to problems. I explained that I knew these guys, and a time limit would be a challenge to them. Lux and Zoe continued to disagree with me, so eventually I told them I would play along, but I assumed no responsibility for the outcome.

We all boarded the Odakyu line for Machida, and explained the “rules” of the drink bar. The guys were all very excited and started asking questions about when the one hour time limit started – from the time we sat down? from the time we order? I told them I would get the details at the restaurant.

We got a table for 7 and placed our orders. As soon as the orders were taken, everyone rushed the drink bar and started mixing drinks. We started slowly, with everyone checking their watches. By about the 30 minute mark there was always at least one of us refilling their drink at any time. For the last 10 minutes I am pretty sure that Green did not return to his seat at all. We all left full of delicious food and booze for under 2000 yen per person.

When you drink a large amount of alcohol in a short time, you can go from feeling completely sober to drunk in a matter of minutes. This happened for most of us on the walk from the restaurant to the station. We passed two large gaijins walking in the other direction. Code Red asked if they were Canadian like us, and the said that no, they were American Marines. Code Red responded “Go Yankee Go!”, to which Flounder added “home”. Our military friends did not take kindly to this, and suggested they would meet us later. Code Red, missing the implicit threat in the comment, answered “awesome! We will see you guys later!”. The marines clarified that it would not be a pleasant meeting. I believe Hippie and Code Red tried to apologize as we continued walking away.

By the time we arrived at the station, we were drunk and belligerent. While we waited on the platform, I noticed that a few train security officers watched our group from a distance. They seemed relieved as we boarded the train and ceased to be their problem.

When we returned to Hello House, Green removed his shirt and started walking around the house. Lux and I hung out on the stoop reflecting on the amount of alcohol that we all drank for 600 yen each. Eventually one of the other Hello House residents, a gay British male, came to the stoop to complain about Green walking around shirtless. His comment was “nobody wants to see that”.

Video games, cheap alcohol, pissing off Marines, train security, and unwanted shirtlessness. All in a days work.

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May 24, 2004 pt1 – Don’t touch that!

žSex can

After our long day out in Tokyo, we got a very slow start to our Monday. We were all hanging out in the room that Flounder, Code Red and Green were sharing, talking about our upcoming plans. The room had a Japanese style closet with sliding door. Code Red moved his futon into the closet and turned it into a private bedroom. There were a lot of “in the closet jokes”. Code Red didn’t care, because the sliding door gave him some relief from Flounder and Green’s horrific drunken snoring.

In the previous evening, we purchased a number of sex cans (that’s the nicest way I can describe them) from Don Quijote. We opened one of them up to inspect it, and in doing so accidentally removed the label. It was a plastic can with a pink sponge on top. In the middle of the sponge was a hole. Inside the hole were various flexible bumps and other textures, as well as a lubricant. If you need a description of what a sex can is used for, you are too young to hear a description of what a sex can is used for.

Lux and Katsuragi came to hang out with us and ask us about our plans for the day. While we were talking, the plastic can caught Katsuragi’s attention. She asked what it was, and nobody said anything. She then put her finger into the hole on top. At this exact moment, one of the guys caught the fantastic picture above of Lux’s expression of horror. Katsuragi came to a sudden realization of what the product was for, and then chased me down the hall attempting to rub the can lube from her finger on my shirt.

Totally worth 600 yen!

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