Posts Tagged stupidity
I woke up in Victoria hospital with an IV in the back of my hand. When I realized where I was, my first thought was to get out as soon as possible. Since my official graduation would be in October, one month after I left for Japan, my parents had scheduled graduation pictures before I left. My picture appointment happened to be later that very day. I needed to get home to recover and clean myself up before pictures. There was no way I wanted my parents to know that I had spent the night in the hospital.
I got the nurses attention, got the IV removed and headed to a phone. I didn’t know when The Ex had left the previous night or how angry she was going to be, so I called the frat house for a ride. I made it almost the entire way home without puking. Almost. My apologies to the people waiting for a bus in front of Burger King at confusion corner – I didn’t want you to see that.
At home I slept for a few more hours, had a shower, tried to eat something small, and waited for my ride to pictures. My family commented on how pale I looked and that I must have killed a few brain cells the night before. I didn’t share any details.
My graduation pictures look terrible. I am pale at the best of times, but on this day, I looked practically albino. Wearing a bright white shirt made the effect even worse. Only my sister noticed the band aid on the back of my hand and asked about it. I said that I must have bumped my hand at the wrestling show the night before. She said “good, I thought maybe you got really drunk and needed an IV at the hospital”. Lucky guess!
So if my family is reading this – there is the true story about why I look like an albino ghost in my graduation pictures.
For everyone else reading this – graduation pictures are really important to parents. Don’t screw yours up.
My farewell party was at the Premier Championship Wrestling (PCW) show on Thursday, September 2003. If memory serves, it was annual the “Back to School Bash” show. At the time I was a big pro wrestling fan, and had been going to weekly PCW shows for over a year. There was a core group of us that would always go to the shows including The Ex (also a pro wrestling fan), and a few of the frat boys. Not only was I a regular, but I was also the undisputed wrestling trivia champion. Since this was a special occasion pretty much the entire fraternity chapter showed up. PCW ran all of their shows out of a local bar located close to the University.
The problems started when almost everyone wanted to buy me a farewell drink. When I mean everyone, I mean the fraternity brothers and some of the other regular wrestling fans. Being a fun, friendly guy I didn’t refuse any drinks at all. The promoter made a point of telling the crowd that it was my farewell show, and got me into the ring to demonstrate my beer chugging abilities. I also got to be part of an in ring angle where one of the wrestlers had a shocking revelation about his personal life. My job was to wait for the signal and then hit the mat and bail out of the ring in a hurry. Considering how drunk I was at the time it is fortunate I didn’t end up falling on my head.
At some point my brain went into survival mode and I started giving away the drinks that people were bringing me. Memories get fuzzy later in the evening, but I ended up puking an ungodly amount beer and awful shots in the bathroom, and then went to sit with another group of regulars for the end of the show to avoid further free drinks. My last memories of the wrestling show were of Mentallo winning a championship and getting into someone’s car to go back to the fraternity house. My next memories were at the fraternity house. A few people were trying to convince me to drink water while I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom, hanging onto the toilet for dear life. My brain, still in survival mode, convinced me that they were trying to give me more alcohol, so I flat out refused to drink anything else.
The problem with drinking stories is that some of them start fun and end fun. Others start fun and end badly. This was one of the “ending badly” stories. To be continued…