Archive for June, 2014
May 30, 2004 – I just told her it was small, didn’t I?
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Greater Tokyo Area, Karaoke, Shenanigans on June 7, 2014
Where’s my microphone??
An uneventful day relaxing at Hello House was followed up with an eventful evening out in Kawasaki.
Code Red, Green, Flounder, Hippie got on Nanbu line headed towards Kawasaki, where we would meet up with some of my coworkers and friends. On the train, Green asked me how to say “you are beautiful” in Japanese so he could talk to some ladies. I got an evil idea, and then spent the rest of the train ride practicing Green’s new Japanese phrase, which was absolutely not “you are beautiful”.
We met with Jem and Rivers and went to a nearby izakaya for some food and drinks. By this point I had informed everyone except Green the meaning of the words that I had been teaching to Green. We were all having trouble containing our excitement. Green practiced a few more times to try to get the pronunciation correct, and then waited for his opportunity.
We pressed the order button in the izakaya – a wonderful invention that summons your waiter or waitress to your table. An attractive female waitress arrived and took the order for our group. At this point Green spoke up with the phrase he had been rehearsing for the past 30 minutes.
“Excuse me” he said in Japanese. The waitress turned and looked at Green. You could cut the anticipation in our group with a knife.
“I have a small penis” said Green proudly in Japanese. The waitress looked confused. Green, assuming his pronunciation was bad decided to repeat the phrase slower and more clearly.
“I – have – a – small – penis!” he repeated, again with a smile on his face. At this point the waitress started laughing and walked away, which caused our entire group to crack up laughing hysterically. Green realized what happened “I just told her it was small, didn’t I?” he cleverly guessed.
Green asked me how to explain to the waitress that it wasn’t small, but actually very large. I taught him how to say “very small” instead. His BS detector went off and he decided to give up on the whole idea.
After the izakaya, we went out to karaoke again. Karaoke quickly became the fun activity of choice for our group, mainly due to the incredibly cheap drinks. We spent a few hours rocking out and making liberal use of the all you can drink policy before heading back to Hello House on Nanbu line. The trip home was not boring – one very drunk member of our group started walking up and down the train cars with a condom in his hand. This presented the other passengers with an excellent opportunity to pretend that he didn’t exist, which they did very well. Never a dull moment!
May 29, 2004 – A night out in Roppongi
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Team Awesome Sauce, Tokyo on June 6, 2014
Once again we started our day off by sleeping and and playing video games. In the evening we went out to Roppongi to get a sample of Tokyo nightlife.
Our first stop was a really cool place off the main streets that served over 200 different types of beer from around the world. Thanks to my experience at the Maple Leaf Bar on the previous day, I had a taste for Moosehead. The bar had it, but it cost me 900 yen. Due to the prices, we only had a few drinks before moving on to our next destination.
There are almost too many options for places to spend your money on alcohol in Roppongi. Since we were on a budget, we decided to go to GasPanic. As we were walking down the street, we were approached by one of the many, many touts working the area. He started off by offering us 3000 yen all you can drink in his bar. We told him no thanks, we were going to GasPanic. The price quickly dropped to 2500 yen with assurances that his bar was far superior to GasPanic. We again declined. At this point he turned to small talk – asking where we were from. We told him Canada. Unsurprisingly, the tout had a cousin who lived in Canada and loved Canadians. Again the price came down. We told him that we would check out his bar on the way back to the station. He told us that we wouldn’t be back, and that we should go to his bar now.
At this point we decided to say no again and just keep walking as we now had a walk light to cross the street. The tout jumped in front of Flounder and grabbed him playfully to keep him from walking away. Flounder, confused, reached down and gave the tout a hug before we walked away. I congratulated the tout on his exceptional effort.
Due to the constant bombardment of touts and my unfamiliarity with the area, we ended up going into GasPanic Club instead of regular GasPanic. Despite being a Saturday night, the place was not very busy at all. The staff assured us it would get much busier later, but we wanted to catch our last train.
I convinced Code Red and Green to talk to two attractive Japanese females that were sitting nearby. I assured them that they could just speak English, because most Japanese females go to GasPanic to meet foreigners. Code Red was getting along fine, but Green called me over to translate after a few minutes.
I walked over and introduced myself to the nice young lady, who I will refer to as Maki. I explained that Green was visiting from Canada and I would try my best to translate for him despite my beginner Japanese. I manged to keep a bit of a conversation going for a few minutes. Maki wanted to know how old Green was, I asked Green how old he wanted to be. We settled on 25. Green asked me to explain to Maki that he was a famous soccer goalkeeper in Canada. I have never known Green to play soccer at all, but did my best to translate. After a few minutes, Maki stopped asking about Green and just started talking to me directly. Code Red gave up talking to his new Japanese friend, leaving me to talk to Maki while the guys drank beer in the mostly empty bar. Needless to say, we didn’t stay very long.
Our night out in Roppongi was mostly a bust, but we did have some delicious donairs on the way home and continued to laugh about Flounder hugging the tout. Also, I am way more successful talking to women in Japan, which does me no favours since I am not single.
May 28, 2004 – Watching the Stanley Cup Finals in Tokyo
Posted by Barniferous in Team Awesome Sauce, Tokyo on June 5, 2014
Watching NHL playoffs at the Maple Leaf bar
I woke up with a raging hangover from the previous night and the inability to find my glasses. Our plan for the day was to watch game 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs at the Maple Leaf bar in Shibuya. Hippie and I slowly got our stuff together, and then walked up the step stairs towards Jem’s apartment to collect Flounder, Code Red and Green.
When we arrived, we found that the other guys were just as tired and hung over as we were. I don’t think anyone in our group got more than 4 hours of sleep. We finally collected all of our belongings, making sure that the video camera was safe, thanked Jem and her roommate for graciously saving our drunk asses, and then walked out into the cruel morning air.
Descending a steep staircase on the side of a hill can be challenging at the best of times. When tired and hungover it is a very unpleasant experience. The stairs were spinning slightly below me and my eyes couldn’t focus properly. I was legitimately worried about falling down the stairs and coming to a sudden stop on the concrete far below. As a group we all stopped halfway down to catch our breath and regain our balance.
The 15 minute walk back to the station seemed to take an hour. At Hodogaya we got on a crowded rush hour train towards Yokohama. At Yokohama we got on an even more crowded rush hour train to Shibuya. The train was packed wall to wall business people, and the air conditioner wasn’t working correctly. We silently held on to to the handles trying our best to survive until Shibuya. When we arrived in Shibuya we took a few minutes to enjoy some fresh air before walking to the Maple Leaf Bar. Fortunately we scouted the location on a previous trip to Shibuya so we didn’t have to search for it while hungover.
The Maple Leaf bar is, as you might expect from the name, a Canadian bar in Shibuya. On the inside everything is Canadian flags and wood. The bar is not usually open in the morning, but they make exceptions for hockey playoffs. We sat down at a table and ordered the special Canadian breakfast: 1000 yen for eggs, bacon, baked beans, toast and a beer. The wonderful staff, noting our condition, made sure to keep bringing refills of ice water.
Breakfast and fluids helped us all feel like humans again. This was partially offset by watching the Calgary Flames lose to the Tampa Bay Lightning 4-1. During the game a photographer was taking pictures for a story about Canadians around the world watching the NHL finals. Our picture ended up in the Yomiuri Newspaper and on the wall in the Maple Leaf’s washroom.
After the game we all headed back to Hello House for a relaxing and uneventful afternoon and evening.
(2014 Update) The Maple Leaf bar closed several years ago, which is a shame. If anyone can find a copy of the picture that was run in the newspapers of my friends and I watching hockey I would truly appreciate it. I have spent hours on Google over the past few years searching with no luck.
May 27, 2004 pt2 – Karaoke Adventure
Posted by Barniferous in Drinking, Karaoke, Yokohama on June 4, 2014
We met up with Rivers and Jem at Yokohama station. They were fresh out of NOVA kids training and looking for some beer. After some phone calls and texting we were able to meet up with the rest of the usual Thursday night karaoke group. All together we took a group of 15 thirsty people into Big Echo for some all you can drink karaoke.
The pitchers started flowing fast and furiously, as everyone filled the karaoke queue with an eclectic range of songs ranging from Ring of Fire to Anarchy in the UK. Code Red had his video camera out and decided to start filming our experience. After a while, Code Red took a page out of my book and started visiting other karaoke rooms. He would open the door and tell the surprised people inside “smile for American TV!”. This got a lot of smiles and cheers.
Code Red and the video camera that got us in trouble
We had a busy, beer soaked two hours of karaoke. Since it took so long to get our group together, we had only 10 minutes to catch the last train after we paid. Half way back to Yokohama station, Code Red suddenly announced that he didn’t have his video camera and then ran back to Big Echo. I quickly gave Jem some (incorrect) instructions to get Flounder, Hippie and Green on the last train and then I took off after Code Red. In the worst case I assumed that Flounder, Hippie and Green could find their way back to Hello House, and Code Red and I would find alternate transportation or a place to crash.
I waited outside Big Echo for a few minutes, and then decided to go into the building to look for Code Red. I took the only elevator up to the floor where our room was, just as Code Red was coming down the stairs. He got outside and saw that all of his friends were gone. He was on his own, drunk, in a city far from home. After a brief moment of panic, he cleverly walked up to the first gaijins he saw and asked where the station was, explaining that he needed to get to Noborito. The two Australians looked at their watch and told him, probably in an awesome Aussie accent, that he was f**ked.
After looking around for Code Red in Big Echo, I went outside to see nobody that I recognized. Just then my phone started ringing – it was Jem and she couldn’t remember which train to put the other guys on. By this point the last train back to Kawasaki had already left. On the way to the platform I received another call that Code Red had just showed up on the platform. I met up with the group and we found out that the video camera wasn’t actually missing, it was in his backpack the entire time. As a group we voted that Code Red was not allowed to talk for the next 30 minutes.
Jem and her roommates came to our rescue, offering to put us up at their NOVA apartments. We took a quick train ride to Hodogaya station and started walking. And then we walked more. And then we kept walking.
I like to complain about Hello House at times, but it is only a five minute walk from the station. Jem’s apartment was a full 15 minute walk, mostly uphill. The apartment building itself was literally built on the side of a hill with a steep 50 degree staircase. Flounder, Green and Code Red slept at Jem’s place, while Hippie and I got a spare room at the other NOVA apartment that was about half way down the steep hill.
Travel lesson for the day: before you sprint off on your own in a strange country, check your freaking backpack for your lost item. It will save some excitement.
May 27, 2004 pt1 – Exploring Yokohama
Posted by Barniferous in Team Awesome Sauce, Yokohama on June 3, 2014
Near Minato Mirai
Due to another late night, we got yet another late start on our day. In the morning we did laundry and watched 3 episodes of The Simpsons in the Hello House common room. When we finally got mobile, headed out for Yokohama. We took Nanbu line to Kawasaki, Tokaido line to Yokohama, then changed to the new Minato Mirai line for Minato Mirai station.
We explored the area around Landmark Tower, and then made our way over towards Cosmo Clock. We decided that the five of us didn’t want to divide up and ride the romantic Cosmo Clock ferris wheel in groups. Instead we found ourselves in yet another game center. This one featured the incredibly cool (and incredibly Japanese) dog walking simulator.
Green selecting which virutal dog to walk
The purpose of the game is to successfully walk your virtual dog.The controls are a treadmill and a leash. The treadmill is used to walk your dog at an appropriate pace: too fast and the dog gets upset, but too slow and the dog gets bored. The leash is used to steer your dog away from hazards like other dogs, cars, and food delivery bicycles. It seems simple, but is actually pretty hard and fun to watch your friends fail at.
After getting our fill of the Minato Mirai area, we caught a quick train to Yokohama Chinatown. The area is full of delicious looking restaurants. The problem was that the menus featured Chinese food that I didn’t know how to read in Japanese, and there weren’t many pictures. Also, lunch specials in the area are quite reasonable, but dinner can be pretty expensive. After about 30 minutes of searching we finally found a restaurant with reasonable dinner prices that had enough pictures on the menu so I wasn’t afraid of ordering. The food was fantastic! After eating, we slowly worked our way back towards the station, and took Minato Mirai line back to Yokohama station to meet up with my coworkers for a karaoke adventure.
May 26, 2004 pt2 – Toyota Megaweb
Posted by Barniferous in Tokyo on June 2, 2014
After dinner at Saizeriya, we decided to continue our Odaiba adventures with a visit to the Pallet Town shopping area. Pallet Town is an upscale shopping area with a cool European theme. The shopping area was okay, but for us the big attraction was MegaWeb, a giant Toyota showroom and “automobile theme park”. We got to look at and sit in all of the current and upcoming Toyota models including a tiny smart car model. The smart car was a comfortable fit for Code Red and I, but Flounder literally could not fit in the car at all. We got dirty looks from one of the employees while we laughed at Flounder.
Smartcars are not built for everyone
MegaWeb also had several driving simulator games. Normally the driving simulators cost 600 yen, but today they were all FREE! We took full advantage of the simulators, with our favourite being the off-road simulator that we were all terrible at.
While the guys were enjoying the games, I ended up talking with one of the female employees who was looking to practice her English. She started with the standard question – asking if we were American. I explained that we were all Canadian, and I was living in Japan teaching English. It turns out she was a NOVA student from the Chiba area. We chatted for a few minutes and then surprisingly she gave me her email address and phone number. This earned me some praise from the guys and a nice ego boost. If I was single I would have definitely called her, but I decided to be a faithful boyfriend and dispose of the contact info when I got home.
At the end of a long day in Odaiba, we made a point of riding the Yurikamome back towards home, mistakenly believing that it was the Tokyo Monorail. The Yurikamome is an automated train that offers spectacular views of Tokyo Bay. Thinking we were on the monorail, we all started singing the Monorail song from the fantastic Simpsons episode “Marge vs. the Monorail”. We got off at Shiodome station to walk to the JR lines, stopping at an area with hand and face prints from Japanese sports figures and TV personalities. I recognized a few pro wrestlers, but we didn’t know any of the other names.
Sometimes the best vacation experiences come not from the major tourist destinations, but just from being around a fun group of people away from home. Monorail! Monoraaaail! MONORAAAAAAIL!
Mono… d’oh!
May 26, 2004 pt1 – Odaiba
Posted by Barniferous in Team Awesome Sauce, Tokyo on June 1, 2014
Once again we got a late start on the day, both due to recovery from the previous evening and because we are a bunch of guys on vacation. After we finally got moving, we headed out to Odaiba.
Odaiba is a large artificial island in Tokyo Bay. It was originally created for sea defence in the 1800s, but has now turned into a developed area with hotels, shopping, and other fun things. Our first stop was the Fuji TV building, which looks like something out of an episode of Star Trek. We would have enjoyed the building more if we were familiar with any of Fuji TV’s shows. While we were wandering around, a group of school kids approached Flounder to ask him questions in English for a school project. I am sure it was intimidating for the kids to approach the giant gaijin, but Flounder is actually great with kids and had fun answering the questions.
We explored some of the malls and found a game center, which has become a recurring theme of our adventures. The picture above is from an awesome 4 player air hockey game that suddenly went into a bonus mode with multiple pucks. We also found a Biohazard (Resident Evil) 4D-Executer machine. The machine shows a 20 minute animated movie based on Biohazard, complete with 3D effects, a moving seat, and air cannons designed to scare the viewer. It was pretty cool.
After some gaming we ended up at Saizeriya to get some food. Saizeriya is a family restaurant that features a inexpensive Italian food and a regular, non-alcoholic drink bar. After our misadventures of the previous night, a non alcoholic drink bar was a good idea.
Drinking in Japan 
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